Embracing the change

I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life in a constant state of change. We need to live authentic lives that bring us joy and make our time on this planet meaningful. These lives should enrich us but also give back to others in some way. If we’re pursuing our joy and bringing harm to none, we’re probably on the right path.

Some people come into our lives for a reason. It’s not usually the reason we think of first. Some break us to make us stronger, teach us something we wouldn’t have learned otherwise or show us that we’re capable of love. They guide us in a new direction. Some people come and then go again. A rare few stay for the long haul, loyal to the end.

Every moment of our lives presents us with a choice. There’s likely an infinite number of paths in front of us, and we can feel the heaviness of choosing and choosing again. What we hold on to can make our lives better or weigh us down. Sometimes it even changes the choices that we make. I look at my life and see the unexpected arc of it and how each choice led to another.

Every list will be different. I’m under no illusion that what holds value for me is the same for anyone else. But here’s my list for holding on. And one for letting go. May it be of benefit.

[1] To hold:
My heart, tight. The memories and precious moments of my daily life. The people who support my dreams and encourage my joy. The freedom that comes with being my most authentic self: Small and large acts of kindness. Love, in all its forms. Unconditional love most of all. Friends who are fierce and loyal. Those around us who give support rather than judgment. The lessons learned, even from the most brutal of circumstances. My dreams, always. My sense of adventure. My resilience. A keen sense of humor. My ability to learn. My willingness to seek the truth.

[2] To release:
Everything I thought I knew. Everything the world told me that I was or should be. The plans I put on calendars. The boxes of my life I thought should be checked off by now. All the voices saying I probably couldn’t, or probably shouldn’t, or never would. The outlined lives of those who lived before me. The fear of living a life outside the lines. Love so weak I feel that I am starving. Of days spent wasted, dying to be seen. Work that slowly wears away at my soul. The weight of others’ expectations and toxicity. Everything that no longer serves me.

Our lives are filled with change, and many of us learn to adapt—to embrace new ideas. To be better than what we knew before. To release our hold on the labels that have defined us in order to find ones that better suit our souls.

So I choose a limitless state of mind an open heart and a fulfilled life... That's my choice, knowing that the universe has my back...

- Luis Carvalho (The Oak)